1. You buy your beer in a can, have a can crusher in your garage and use the casing to light bonfires
Well, this already got specific, yet reality is knocking on your door. If you’ve never done it, then you definately know somebody who does or has – I mean drink beer out of a can. Drinking beer out of a can is practically non-existent in Germany. They like their bottles basically anywhere and everywhere. Bonfires? A regulatory no-go and that can crusher of yours would be a good sauerkraut maker.
2. You demand that your alcohol be packed into a brown bag at the grocery store
This is the sad norm in most grocery stores or gas stations in the United States. Now, what the heck do you have to hide when you are buying that half gallon bottle of Vodka? Are you afraid that somebody might just want to party with you? The more the merrier!
Germany: There are no plastic bags nor paper bags nor anything else, unless you pay for it. Trying to hide your liquor? Are you kidding me?
3. Your alcohol cupboard is way out of reach, above your refrigerator.
Yes, you know you are guilty: you better watch out for them little rascals trying to get into your stash. Germany: it is completely normal to display your alcohol so that all your guests know that you could have a good time – and that you didn’t just come and visit for nothing.
4. Your mixed drinks are always in a non-see through XXL mug
I am not using names here but…. Making mixed drinks in the U.S. is always quite mysterious, and dangerous… How many times have I heard: “ Honey, you sure did make this drink pretty strong”
Germany: It is one of the Germans “book of world records” disciplines: Creating a special glass for every single alcohol and beer that exists. Did you order a Radler? Your glass will be 0.5L large with a handle. Did you order a Whiskey? Did you order a Pilsner? Well… you get the picture. Could this get annoying? Is there anything you can do about it? Nope.
5. You worry about buying your alcohol by 8pm, before the “alcohol section” closes.
I always get freaked out a little bit in the U.S. when people come over to our place at around 6pm and there is only enough beer in the fridge for 2. You will have that “Are we going to drink tonight” conversation and somebody will have to eventually make the eminent “beer run”.
No worries in Germany, other than almost every grocery store closes at 10pm. So you will basically postpone your beer run for the designated driver sitting in the room. “Anybody want to risk their driver’s license tonight?” Nope
As for my wife and I, she is normally the designated driver on most nights, which every husband or boyfriend should be terminally thankful for. Cheers!